Just cropdusted the office
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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