I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
