he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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