It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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