Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
