im so drunk with asians
where?
always
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
