Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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