i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
