So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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