Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
