OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
