You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize