Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
