I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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