covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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