In the future we'll all be gay
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
