All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
