and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize