He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
