weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
