We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
