i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
