i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
