Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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