i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
