dude i'm inner monologue high
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
