i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it because I queefed?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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