Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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