I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
