ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
