I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
