Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
