great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
