i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, beer. Big fan.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
