eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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