So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
