While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
