The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
