so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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