I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
