i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
