I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize