Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
