be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize