she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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