So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
