a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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