Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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