we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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