So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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