third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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