Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
im on a boat
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