The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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