So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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