we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
