There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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