drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
