I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
