Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
